Life is about change. We go through phases, seasons, circumstances that we know will not last, that we know will end. And God is with us through it all. Through the story of our lives.
This January my pastor encouraged our church body as individuals to come up with one word that would encapsulize what we want God to do through us this year. Just one thing, so we wouldn't get overwhelmed.
My word is surrender.
That's definitely a big one. Surrender to God requires a complete trust in God. I cannot surrender to someone I cannot trust. I must believe that He loves me with an everlasting love and that He does only what is best for me. I must let Him order my steps because I cannot do it on my own. I will only mess up. His ways are too high for me to understand, and so I defer to Him.
Right now, I'm in the midst of confusion. I have many desires for my life, some of which I don't know for sure are God's will--the biggest thing being writing. Since I "caught the bug" for writing, I've spent countless hours and dollars pursuing the craft. I support Christian fiction authors, and I work to learn the craft so that one day I will be the one interviewed about her novel. However, I've slammed into a wall. The wall is either from God, to get my attention, or from Satan, to stop me from being effective. I've entered into a time of prayer and seeking God more intensely so I can know for sure which is the case.
I pray that God's perfect love will cast away my fear--the fear that God will take away the writing that is so dear to me, the reviewing that I enjoy so much, the company of other writers. But I can trust Him. If He chooses to turn me towards another path, I am content with that because it will bring Him glory.
So there will not be as many posts here as there have been in the past. I'm slowing way down in order to hear God's voice more clearly. My heart is ready to hear Him clearly saying: "This is the path; walk in it."
I entrust the story of my life to the God who created it. Until next time...
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I hear you, Karri! Surrendering our will and desires to God sounds horribly scary--until we learn Who He is and what He is like. And then it makes perfect sense. How could we want anything He doesn't want for us?
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to balance family and writing and so many other things that take time away from writing. I pray God will show you clearly what you should do.